REAL STORIES

Age: 27
Gender: Male
Location: GA

The first time I did meth was on accident believe it or not. I was always against it up until the age of 20. One day I was offered a bump of what i thought was cocaine. I was never really into cocaine but would do a bump socially from time to time. When i did the bump it did not feel like snorting cocaine feels. I asked the guy what was wrong with the coke. He told me it wasn't coke it was Tina. I asked him what Tina was and he said Meth. I was starting to get mad at him, but soon I got really really really high once it kicked in, and it was like nothing I had ever felt before.

I didn't do meth after that 1st time again for at least 3 years. I was somewhat aware of the extreme risks of the drug, and knew it would be trouble for me, yet every time on the news when they would do a report on a meth lab getting busted, I would feel like i could taste and feel it going down my nasal cavity and down my throat and would really wanna do it.

When i was 23 I got a job at a restaurant in Midtown, Atlanta, georgia. One of the employees there happened to be a meth dealer. It took me a year of working there to finally start trying to get meth from him and it eventually happened. I started out small amounts occasionally. I wanna add 6 months into this job I met the love of my life and the woman I became engaged to. It was soon after our engagement that I started dabbling in meth provided by the dealer. It wasn't too bad of an issue for me for a couple of months until finally after doing some and eventually going to sleep, I woke up one morning with many things to do that day, but had no energy. I felt so weak in a way and to a degree I had never felt before. I layed in bed for 20 min., until i rolled over and called the dealer. I got a 40 bag. After that for the next 6 months I was on it everyday. Eventually doing a line first thing when i woke, if i ever went to sleep. My relationship with my fiance quickly deteriorated. She caught me after 6 months, and i promised to quit, she was very supportive. But my ambitions didn't last long and soon relapsed, and began hiding it again. She stuck by my for 3 more years, after numerous times being caught be her, promising to quit, and then relapsing and hiding it again. I became very sexually permisive, and cheated on her several times. She finally came home just this past july and found me at home with another woman i had met on the street. It was over, I lost her. She kicked me out. I had no wear to go. I slept in piedemont park a couple of nights, in a laundry room another night, and then called my mom crying, telling her i needed to come home. My mother was down to pick me up in 45 min. I am still living with her today.

On novermber 17th, 2009, I went to go get tested for HIV because i had unprotected sex on meth and used needles a few times. I tested positive for HIV. It was shocking, but i kinda knew it would be positive. My first concern was that I could of passed it to me now Ex-fiance. I was so scared for her well being, and thought that I wouldn't be able to handle it if I had infected her, and wondered if i would even kill myself. She got tested a week after me, and I am so thankful she was negative.

Now I'm pciking up the pieces of my life, learning to deal with HIV, and every single day missing my ex-fiance who i believe is my soul mate. I love her so much, and meth totally hijacked me. I never cheated on her sober, not once. It's no excuse still, but i did so many things i never would of otherwise done. I don't cry while typing this story until i start writing about her. Believe it or not tha's the worst part, I can't believe i lost her, she is amazing.

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