REAL STORIES

Age: 23
Gender: male

The first time I heard an ad from the Georgia Meth Project, I heard the story of the girl who's teeth crumbled while she was chewing gum. I had to pull my car over in rush hour to throw up on the side of the road. I sat back in my car and started crying. It brought me back to when I first got clean and my teeth started breaking and turning brown. It made me remember how horrible I felt when I was a meth addict, and for that I thank you.

My name is Ryan, I'm 23 years old and I started doing meth when I was 15. I had just moved back to Georgia from another state and only had a few friends. I started hanging out with my brother and his friends during the summer before school started back. One night my brother brought me over to his friends house and they had meth. When they asked us if we wanted to try it, we made the mistake of saying yes. As the night progressed more and more people were showing up and offering us more and more. Being the young naive individuals that we were we tried to keep up. After about 12 lines I began feeling hot, dizzy and nauseous. I sat in a corner, shaking and rocking back and forth with a fan blowing on me for 3 hours.

Finally I began to throw up all over this strangers carpet, I couldn't seem to stop. The puddle appeared to be just water and I began to feel "up" again. A few of us decided to go outside and wait for the sun to come up, when we watched the sun rise we all came back into the house and saw a black stain in the middle of the carpet where I had thrown up. I thought I had never felt so scared, until I realized my meth abuse had only just begun.

I was addicted to meth for almost two years. Two years of stealing and plotting new ways to score more dope. I pawned everything I owned. My parents house got robbed 4 times by my own "friends," and all I wanted was more. I would snort it or smoke it whenever I had a chance. Id do it at school, work, home, truck station bathrooms or wherever I had a flat surface. When I wasn't around my stash I felt anxious to the point of vomiting. My body started developing sores and knots the size of golf balls and 50% of my back is covered in scars. I failed sophomore year of high school because I couldn't stop doing meth, it's all I wanted to do. My teeth are slowly rotting out of my jaw and I don't feel like my brain occupies my entire skull anymore.

I knew I'd hit rock bottom when I looked in the mirror one day and I started to cry. I asked God to please get me off this drug and help me to take my life back, and all I felt was emptiness. I asked God to get me clean or kill me, and I meant what I said with every fiber of my being. My road to recovery was rough to say the least. I had to force myself to eat, I would randomly throw up in the hall way at school or fall down stairs because I was too weak to walk for long periods of time. My nose still bleeds randomly. After about a month of being sober I started feeling like someone was watching over me, like someone wasn't going to let me fail.

After getting sober I decided the only way I was going to keep my mind off meth was to throw myself into something else. I had to occupy every minute of my time so I wouldn't be tempted to relapse. I threw myself into my school work and my job. Before starting meth I was a grade ahead; When I got clean I was a year behind. I picked up extra classes and somehow managed to finish High School on time. Since then I have finished my Bachelor's degree in Information Systems Security and I start Graduate School in the Fall. I love my life and I thank God everyday that I get to experience another day; and for every day that I experience without meth in my life.

P.S. Thank you so much for starting this project. It is very necessary and I wish this had been around when I was starting my recovery. Thanks for reading my story.

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